a little rant of frustration

I'm just going to type this all out, get it out of my system, and move on with my day. It's too early for the whole day to be ruined.

Emily had a 9 month check up this morning. First, a little background. I first took Emily to the doctor when she was several days old. She was born at home and the pediatrician's office was confused by the lack of paperwork and irritated at me for not letting them vaccinate her, but checked her out and said come back in 2 weeks. We came back for her "2 week check up" when she was about 3 weeks. I was told I couldn't breastfeed in the waiting room! I did anyway, but didn't make a fuss about it. Then I was bullied into getting Emily a second PKU test because "the American test is better than the German one she already had".

On a side note, if that is true then why does America want to model it's health care system after Germany's?

Anyway, I wasn't happy after that appointment so it took me awhile before I felt like trying to get her in for another appointment. Then I was in the US for a several weeks, spent several weeks traveling, had no transportation for awhile, and the few times I did try to make an appointment no one would answer the phone or I was told they were fully booked and to try again next week.

We get there early this morning and I'm given paperwork to fill out. The paperwork is for a 10 month old because they don't usually see 9 month olds. They quickly call us to a room, have me undress Emmy, and weigh and measure her. 17.1 pounds and 27.5 inches I think, they never actually told me. I'm told the doctor will be right in and we are left alone in a little room with nothing to do. The girls play peek-a-boo, we look out the window, Anika and I do the eye chart on the wall, I feed Emily, we count the bubbles in the underwater scene painted on the wall, we get really bored... 30 minutes later the doctor comes in and says hi, reads Emily's chart, is concerned about her drop on the weight percentile (70th at birth and 20th now), and then notices that we haven't been in and asks why. I told her I was out of town a lot and that they were booked when I did try. Then she asks about shots and I tell her we wait until the kids are older. She gave me the little lecture on how there is no medical benefit to waiting and that anything I read online isn't fact and that I should look at the CDCs website. Little does she know I am very familiar with that website. She tells me I am very fortunate that my kids are healthy, several times... She goes on to say, "It's very important to come in for more well check ups, but I realize you had other priorities." Is it just me or was that an implication that by showing my children around the world, instead of calling every week to make appointments made me a bad mother? She finally got around to talking to Emily who smiled and babbled at her and fully cooperated with all the arms, legs, eyes, ears stuff. She looked over the questionnaire I had filled out and said that she was well above average developmentally (and this was the 10 month paperwork). Then she asks if I'd like to give the girls the flu shot. I said, "no, thank you" and she says, "I hope you guys will be ok. 4000 people have already died of the flu this year, and that's just in the US". She was talking to Emily when she said that! A little manipulative!? Considering that 36,000 die of the flu every flu season I'm not sure why she felt throwing that number at me would make some kind of point. We never get the flu shot and I'm not going to let the swine flu hype scare me into it this year.

I am used to people not approving of my vaccination choices. That doesn't bother me. The way she talked down to me, repeatedly told me I had been fortunate, said I was lucky I'd never had to see the measles or polio, tried to scare me into the flu shot by telling my kids that she hoped they would be ok, that is what pissed me off. I really don't know why I didn't snap at her or just walk out of the appointment. I guess I have no snappy comebacks when I'm going on 4 hours of sleep.

Couldn't she have just checked Emily out, said that she perfectly healthy and advanced for her age, and said "good job mom? And the best part is I get to do this again next week for Anika's birthday.